Recently I had the revelation that one never really outgrows the need for love. The yearning for love from parents is such a fundamental need. How then am I to plod on when this need can no longer be met?
While going to bed the night before my trip to India, I sent an update to my mother saying that I was ready to leave the following morning. She responded by saying that "Have a safe flight kannama. Looking forward." Those simple words of endearment (kannama means darling) really struck my heart. The thought that these endearments will expire in a few months or years highlighted the preciousness of these remaining few. Grief bubbled up while thinking that I will outlast these endearments. I realized that I very much wanted to continue listening to them forever and to continue receiving their love.
This is not to say that I am lacking in affection or that I am unloved by others in my life. In fact, I have had so much support from my husband, brother, niece, and friends who have showed up and gone the extra mile during this period. And still, reality brings with it new wisdom.
